Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. Eph 4:15(NIV)

Coming of age ceremonies have long been a part of many cultures, with teenage boys being ushered into adulthood by the older members of the community or group to which they belong.

And while I may not subscribe to every aspect of these ceremonies, the fact remains that when a defining moment in our lives is linked to a specific event, that experience stands out a lot more in our minds while serving as a reference point for the future. But the truth is no ceremony can turn a boy into a man overnight-becoming a man, and indeed anything worthy of mention takes time. It’s a process and one that requires a lot of determination and hard work. No one becomes a success without going through a process, which is why we need mentors—men and women who have been through the mill and have a testimony before God and Men.

I’m not talking about perfect men because they don’t exist but imperfect men striving for mastery and a life that pleases the master. Abraham wasn’t perfect by any means, yet he was called a friend of God. We need men who will stand for God in their generation and are also willing to show others how it’s done. And this is where the fathers come in. Unfortunately, many dads are still trying to find themselves in a society that’s constantly on their case, telling them they are no good and, even worse, that a family unit is just as great without them.

But some fathers have bought into this lie. The result now is a generation of children who have fathers but have no relationship with them. At the other end is a generation of men trying to find acceptance in a society that wants them out at all costs. These men want to be good husbands and responsible fathers but don’t know how because no one’s shown them the ropes.

And because we can only give what we have, men are simply producing after their kind: young men who are indeed boys in men’s bodies, boys who want to transition into adults but don’t know how to go about it because no one’s showing them the way.

Our children are like arrows in our hands, according to Psalm 127:4, and need to be “targeted” in the right direction for effectiveness, lest they become instruments of destruction in the hands of the enemy.